"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."

"When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don't feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one."

"Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse."

"Why is it when we talk to God we're praying -- but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?"

"I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain."

"Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?"

"Truth is a fire that burns and shines."

"And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry."

"Money is good for bribing yourself through the inconveniences of life."

"Few are agreeable in conversation, because each thinks more of what he intends to say than of what others are saying, and listens no more when he himself has a chance to speak."

"Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves."

"Much silence and a good disposition, there are no two things better than these."