"Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious."

"Not every story has explosions and car chases. That's why they have nudity and espionage."

"There's a pinch of the madman in every great man."

"A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest, honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid."

"I am from a state that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me."

"It is hard work, but there is happiness in it."

"All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit."

"Everything is in a state of flux, including the status quo."

"We never get to love by hate, least of all by self-hatred."

"Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. :-)"

"There is no great genius free from some tincture of madness."

"People are like stained glass windows; they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."